Last week while I was on the treadmill...the everlasting treadmill...I saw a thing on the "Today" show that reminded me a bit of my mom. It was a story about a mom blogger who posted her thoughts about how she, amongst many other moms in this country, are not often seen in any family photos. The moms are the ones behind the camera, behind the scenes, in the trenches. :) I couldn't help but think of my own mom. I have scores and scores of pictures on my computer's hard drive of the last ten years, and very very little are of my mom. That was the same story back when her children were young. This may be a typical trait for many moms to have, but I believe this says something about my mom in particular. It says that she never likes being in the spotlight. She's too modest and humble for that sort of thing. "She doesn't like being the center of attention"--something I've often heard her say. But it says even more than that: It says that she isn't self-focused, and all that endless work and service she gives towards her family are not for show. Those deeds are done for true, Christian reasons....Not so she can be touted as the "Grandma of the Year," or "World's Greatest Mom." She does all of her continuous service for her family because she simply wants to help us and love us and be with us. (Hard to believe, I know.) I feel that sincerity from her, though, and perhaps that's why I adore her so much. She has taught me so very many things, but one thing is for sure...She has taught me how to serve and love your family.
Thank you, Mom, for being willing to drop anything, even at the last minute, to come over and tend while I run to the school or the store or the doctor. Thank you for listening to me cry over and over and over again on the phone when I have my days. Thank you for listening to me endlessly as I try to "solve" the problems of my life. It is in those moments that you have become a great guide and example to me of one who endures well. I am often reminded through your example, Mom, that you have had your own tough roads in life and that you've been around the block. You know heartbreak and what it means to survive through that. Thanks for surviving....If not for you, for me.
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| Love this picture. I took it at our favorite place: Rainbow Gardens! That place has become a tradition for Mom, me, and her grand-daughters. Some of our best memories are made when we're upholding the traditions of going to lunch with Grandma. (Along with a little shopping afterwards, of course.) |
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| This was around Memorial Day this year at her Mom's grave--My Grandma Bette. My mom misses her a lot, I know. This Brigham City cemetery is a special place to my mom and our family. I was glad to have brought the girls there. |
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| Andi and Grandma. :) |
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| We didn't have 65 candles, but we made sure she had plenty to blow out. :) |
"Too much of a mama's life goes undocumented and unseen. People, including my children....don't know how I walk the grocery store aisles looking for treats that will thrill them for a special day. They don't know that I saved their side-snap, paper-thin baby shirts from the hospital where they were born or their little hospital bracelets in keepsake boxes high on the top shelves of their closets. They don't see me tossing and turning in bed wondering if I am doing an okay job as a mother, if they are okay in their schools, where we should take them for a vacation, what we should do for their birthdays. I'm up long past the news on Christmas Eve wrapping presents and eating cookies and milk, and I spend hours hunting the Internet and the local Targets for specially-requested Halloween costumes and birthday presents. They don't see any of that......
I'm everywhere in their young lives, and yet I have very few pictures of me with them. Someday I won't be here -- and I don't know if that someday is tomorrow or thirty or forty or fifty years from now -- but I want them to have pictures of me. I want them to see the way I looked at them, see how much I loved them. I am not perfect to look at and I am not perfect to love, but I am perfectly their mother.
When I look at pictures of my own mother...I see her -- her kind eyes, her open-mouthed, joyful smile, her familiar clothes. That's the mother I remember. My mother's body is the vessel that carries all the memories of my childhood....She is my mama."
Even though some of those words apply to young motherhood, it also very much applies to grandmas...Especially my mom, who is a killer Grandma. I put those words in there because Allison expresses my own sentiments well, not because I expect my mom to change and start taking a bunch of pictures of herself. Allison's words capture the essence of my mom's motherhood--She works hard for us and does it behind the scenes. I treasure her so. And I will always treasure every picture I have of her, whether I have 5 or 95 of them.
Happy 65th, Mama!
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