How to talk to your daughter about her body
Date: July 29, 2013 Tags: Body image, Daughter, Parenting
author: skoppelkam
How to talk to
your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her
body, except to teach her how it works.
Don’t say
anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think
your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you
can say instead:
“You look so
healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about,
“you’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how
happy you are – you’re glowing.”
Better yet,
compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment
on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a
mean one.
Teach her about
kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare
talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about
your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy
healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right
now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over
what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your
daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your
daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your
spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or
rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing
sometimes.
Help your
daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better
leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get,
you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t
absolutely in love with.
Prove to your
daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your
daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your
daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your
own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being
outside.
Maybe you and
your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these
non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can
run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case
for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the
world, if she wants.
Remind your
daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize
her beautiful soul.
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