My Andalyn,Today we stayed home together and made jam. As I was looking at you, standing on a stool in front of the sink rinsing off peaches, it once again occurred to me how much I love spending time with you. Even at the age of four, I consider you one of my best buds.
We do a lot of things together, and some things you do on your own. We've spent a lot of time together doing things like running errands, going to Bear Lake, being with Grandma, going to playtime or to the library. We like movie nights (especially on my bed), and we like spending time with your aunts and cousins. We like our Sundays together when we go to church and visit family. You are blessed to have so many grandparents to visit. We like our nightly rituals together of cuddling in your bed and "talking about things," as you like to call it. It's fun when you go to mutual with me or when we go swimming at the pool or the beach. I love when you tell me you want to be with me. It melts me. You and I have a lot of good times together, but sometimes you like being on your own, too. Like when you're playing on your Leap Pad--You love to sit there in silence and play your games for hours on end. You like going to Miss Lori's Preschool (especially now that your cousin Chase is in your class with you!) You like going to your new music class with Miss Karen, and you've also liked your dance classes with Miss Katie. Lately you've really started to enjoy playing Barbies...With or without your friends or sisters.
Andi, at this four year-old stage of your life, I have worries. Not about you...You are so wonderful. You mean so much to me. But that's sometimes my fear--That you mean too much to me. But the thing is, I can't help it....for so many reasons.
You mean so much to me because you are a part of me, and a part of your Daddy Michael. You mean so much to me because you and I have been through a lot of stuff together throughout your short life already. These hard times we've endured together have molded my heart to you. You mean everything to me because you are a joy to be around, you make me laugh in the hard moments, and you keep me company in the lonely times. You mean a lot to me because you have a keen awareness of those around you; you're conscientious and thoughtful. You aren't pretentious and you don't beg for attention. I love those qualities you possess, and I love that they are apparent even at the age of four.
My life has meaning because of you, and I can't imagine what it was like before you. You are my meaning.
So yes, you mean so very much to me...Perhaps I'm justified in fearing my strong attachment to you. I hope and pray that as you grow, you can remember why it is that you mean this much to me and that you can understand why the rivers run so deep.
You have a mighty spirit and I know your potential in this life is great. I can see that now, even at just four years old.
I am here for you always, my darling. So is Heavenly Father, your countless loved ones, and even your two daddies.
xoxo
Mommy
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